GOSSIP WOMAN: Today’s recap takes a look at the 29th season of The Challenge, which was previously given the poor name of “The Real World/Road Rules Challenge”.
DANIELLE: Subtitled “Invasion of the Champions”, this season pits 18 contestants that have yet to win a Challenge against 8 people that have won at least one Challenge.
JOE AVERAGE: After 29 seasons spread out through almost 2 decades, can this show learn from the mistakes in the past? Will they be able to find a way to please the longtime fans and reverse its ratings slump?
Turk182: My name is Turk182 and this is Reality TV Guide, where we came to make everyone feel better about themselves. Thanksgiving is now over.
Gossip Woman: Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday, dear Turk182!
Turk182: Excuse me, but it’s not my birthday today!
Gossip Woman: Of course it’s not. It was on Tuesday.
Turk182: Oh yeah, that’s right. Thanks for the late birthday greeting!
Gossip Woman: Would you like to open your present now?
Turk182: Now?
Gossip Woman: Yes, now. I found a season of The Challenge that I want you to recap with me.
Turk182: But The Challenge month is over. I covered all of the seasons of The Challenge that were on the schedule.
Gossip Woman: But this is a different season that I found. It’s a very special one, because I thought of you instantly when I found it, and I knew you would cover it.
Turk182: You want me to open it now? And then do a collaborative recap with you on it? Okay.
Turk182: It says “The Real World/Road Rules Challenge” on it. Thanks, Gossip Woman. You know me so well.
Gossip Woman: Of course. That’s why we went out together in college.
Turk182: Alright. Let’s watch it.
Turk182: This isn’t The Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Sure, it’s the exact name, but it’s not even close to it. It’s production-satisfying indulgence that highlights all the worst parts of humanity. You got this at Wal-Mart?
Gossip Woman: Yes.
Turk182: In the $5 basket?
Gossip Woman: Yes.
Turk182: Sitting on top of Jersey Shore Season 1?
Gossip Woman: Yes.
Turk182: I really want to thank you for this present. It’s tough to do that, though, without thinking about how the most enjoyable reality show I’ve ever grown up with produce this corporate garbage.
Turk182: Aww, no. It’s them again.
Gossip Woman: Who?
Turk182: Evan Starkman and Kenny Santucci. They were two guys that debuted on Fresh Meat without ever appearing on The Real World or Road Rules, and then they ended up purchasing the rights to The Real World/Road Rules Challenge. They ended up forming the JEK Dynasty.
Turk182: What do you say, Gossip Woman? Wanna rip into this abomination with me?
Gossip Woman: Sure. I’m in the mood for some Johnny Bananas bashing.
Turk182: Let’s dig into this pile of rubble we’d like to call “The Real World/Road Rules Challenge”: The Ruins.
What’s up, everyone! My name is Gossip Woman. I am very excited to be one of the new writers for the Reality TV Guide reboot. I’ve known my pal, Turk182, since junior year of college. We met at a party, and after one too many to drink, we ended up kissing each other. Needless to say, it was my first kiss ever. We dated each other for a short period, but the relationship ended rather on great terms. We realized that we get along better as friends. Strangely, we never had any real disagreements. The only thing that we did disagree on was our favorite Reality TV shows. He liked the competition shows that he grew up with and wrote about in his first tenure at Reality TV Guide, and I was into the shows on BRAVO, TLC, E!, Oxygen, and such (even though I don’t like all of them). But that disagreement went to good use recently, when he recruited me to recap some of the shows that he wasn’t going to get to.
So, I’ll be writing about the current wave of Reality TV shows, the ones that feature those nobodies that want to think that they’re celebrities. You’ll see me talk about Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the Real Housewives franchise, Duck Dynasty, and a few more. Plus, I’ll be popping up in collaboration reviews here and there as well. Since I earned my degree in Music, it is with great pleasure to announce that I’ll be recapping this season of NBC’s The Voice. I’ll try to cover what already happened before tomorrow’s episode, since we’re behind four episodes. So be on the lookout for that very soon.
P.S. Sorry I went into detail about our relationship, Turk182. It’s one of those moments where I go on a roll about my personal life.
Reality TV Guide 